My 8th year wedding anniversary is a lie...

...because it doesn't reflect how long Lisa and I have truly been together, let alone what we've lived through. Yes, we got married in 2003, the summer after I graduated from college. However, our journey in life didn't get off the ground until 1989, when I began my Jumbo Video stalking career of redheads. It was in this year that I saw a tall, skinny, beautiful redhead, working behind the counter checking out Hollywood hits and back-door suburban porn.


Today, as we celebrate our 8th wedding anniversay driving towards Niagara Falls with our six and one year old children in tow, I'm left wondering.........what in the hell did I do in this life to deserve any of this??? The last few days, as I sat across my wife, son and daughter, I would ask myself this question. I would think, "I wonder if my parents thought the same thing?" as they drove to Florida, ate dinner, brought us to school, etc. Of course they did! Any parent with a conscience and a heart would have. You can't predict the feeling or the moment - it just comes to you. The awakening occurs when you look across the table and see yourself in the past. You want to know the secret to the fountain of youth? Have children!

When I explain to Aiden, my very intuitive six-year-old, how he came to be, my wife and I always say "because God wanted us to have you".

Without getting into a religious debate, my explaination behind this non-scientific theory is that - why else would I be so blessed as to have two healthy, happy, beautiful children? Was it the loonie I put in the homeless guy's hat? The chocolate's I sold door-to-door when I was 10? No. There really isn't an explaination, except that I met the right person at the right time, that together, we would create two young people that, covered in spaghetti sauce, chocolate, cookies, ice cream, and god-knows-what, the ones sitting across from us at the dinner table are the reasons why we came to be husband and wife on the dock at the Glen House on a very hot, summer August day, surrounded by our best friends and family.


They are the reflection of what was, what is, and what can be. For that, I am grateful, not to God, Allah, the sun, moon and stars, but to my wife, my best friend, and my soulmate. Thank you Lisa, for being my best friend, for always being there, and for being my biggest fan. My ego is only as big as you let it:)

I love you!

The Weather - Thus far.......

I could not ignore it anymore. Facebook, Twitter, every Ontario news publication...July, wettest summer on record...where's the sun?...more clouds...what? more rain??....flooding, hail, wind. I was half expecting the Four Horsemen to arrive. But you know what? We love bitching about weather - hot, cold, dry, humid, windchill, and humidex all.

Sitting on my little porch in Blue Mountain, shorts, t-shirt, finishing a lovely '05 red and a mini cuban, breeze moving the evergreens and pines, is when it hits me. What in the good lord liftin' do we have to complain about?

I asked myself a few questions, just to clarify my situation;
1) Am I sweating? No
2) Am I uncomfortable? No
3) Am I sunburnt? No
4) Am I wearing a parka? No
5) Am I wearing insulated muckluks? No
6) Am I wearing shorts? YES
7) Is it snowing? NO
8) Do I have to worry about watering my lawn or plants? NO
9) Can I BBQ? YES
10) Can I see my breath when I breathe? NO

So for all the Facebook whining, Twitter complainin', Digg This wailin', this blog's for you! It's one thing you CAN'T control, so appreciate what you have, enjoy the moment, keep the one's around you smiling, and make it the most enjoyable time you can. No matter what the weather is like outside, it will always be sunny where you make it.

Dear Diary, I'm drunk...is it okay to blog? and does it mean I have a problem?

Yeah, the title of the blog doesn't necessarily reflect what my intentions are. Yes, I'm a bit pinned right now - it's a nice summer night (finally), I've got a shit load of wine at my disposal, and I've been strumming some steel. Which is really what I want to discuss......


A few years ago, before my son was born, my friends Craig, Ian and I decided it would be cool to learn how to play some guitar. Looking back, I think the goal was to learn three chords (and the truth), which would lead us as wunderkind around any given campfire. Little did we know that three chords would turn into a yearning for much more than that.

All three of us have had a love for music - I've always looked to Craig as my early inspiration into music from out of the mainstream, and Ian as bringing me back into what was always popular and cool. I've turned into a music *snob* as of late - I can't stand what is current and popular on the radio, but love what is new and exciting from unsigned artists and indie bands. However, I must confess that as I ease into my 40th year, on the weekends I do enjoy many a classic rock audio journey. But it looks like I'm digressing, so...

l'd like to think that over the last three or so years, I've become a decent rhythm guitar player. I can play more than 6 chords, but don't have the wherewith all to play lead. Saying that, I have come up with some nice structures that could lead into some tunes that I would be proud to share. If only I had a campfire and an audience to share that with!

So now I sit alone under my gazebo, my Takamine Jasmine on my lap, hammering out some stuff that sounds pretty good, when it hits me - and by God, there may be an actual musician in my midst that is saying "no shit" when I say - anyone can play an instrument, but to truly PLAY, you need to instill some EMOTION. I've done it, but now I GET IT!!!!!!

You see, it's not just the red wine (although it can help) that makes you play better, it's if you believe in what you are playing that will draw people in, inspire others, make people laugh or cry or remember a time in their past, etc. It's what separates those that play in their basement from those that play in front of crowds. EMOTION. Believe in what you are doing. I believe anyone can play an instrument, given enough practice and perseverance, but if you believe in what you are playing, whether it be a guitar, drums, violin, or harmonica, that emotion will captivate and inspire those who listen.

I'd like to think that I've grown as a 'musician' in the last three years - from a guy who could hold a few tunes around the campfire to someone who is not afraid to experiment and delve into the musical unknown. To put what I'm feeling into a song, to make people feel what I am feeling.

I know I'm not the first to come to this realization - in fact, I think I reflect all of those wannabe rock stars in this world. But if my kids can dance, sing, and laugh to what I play, if I can get a few people around a campfire to sing a long, if I can have my wife feel the way I feel without words, then I think I've accomplished all that I would really want.

As for my other two friends, I think there's potential out there - Ian plays barre chords better than I could ever imagine, and Craig, being the perfectionist that he is, has moved on from your typical six-string to playing the Bass, which is what the chicks REALLY dig, despite the two less strings! Somewhere out there is an untapped demographic of 30 to 40 somethings looking for domesticated, suburbanite-inspired music!

Well, back to the wine! Goodnight!

Being a celebrity can KILL YOU!

Discovery Channel has a great show called The Deadliest Catch. It is the story about crab fisherman, and how this occupation is deemed one of the most dangerous on this blue planet. Entertaining as hell, it's a soap opera on the high seas for men.

Well Discovery, better check your homework, fire that pimple-faced intern, or at least tune in to Mary Hart!

Helloooooo.....Internet anyone? Headlines? TMZ.com? Entertainment Weekly? People Magazine? I'm telling you, the last two weeks have been absolutely brutal for anyone remotely famous. Let's recap:

David Carradine - dead
Ed McMahon - dead
Farah Fawcett - dead
Michael Jackson - dead (but debatable - check your local grocery clerks for new hires)
Karl Malden - dead
Billy Mays - dead
Martin Streek - dead (okay, he's small 'c' celeb, but in the Canadian alternative radio world, he was a god to many)

So I am imploring Discovery Channel to rethink (and perhaps, retool) it's showcase line-up, and either stop falsely promoting this crab-fishing tomfoolery as 'dangerous', or start a new show about the precarious occupation of being famous to millions around the world (or 3000, in the case of Streek).

By the way, for the benefit of my brother-in-law, who may or may not read this blog, a friendly reminder.

John Candy - still dead. (don't you just love inside jokes?)